TRUST

I comment to a man that God has given me a heart for, 'I am nudging you a bit' and he says don't nudge....push....shove.

And I look at God and think, 'WOW! you have called me to do this??!! Can I?'

There is a side of me that wants to run and give up. Take the 'easier' route. There is another side of me that wants to be all in. There is excitement, anticipation, hope....but I'm scared.

I wrestle with God - how do I push him? What does he know? Where does he desire you to take him? Am I doing enough? Am I doing to much? Am I going to screw up? Is he going to give up?

I ask the man, with hesitation and strength from God (and ready for rejection), if he would want to do breakfast with my husband and I. He was quick to say yes and said that it sounded great!

I ask God, are you really going to give me words to say what he needs to hear? How much am I going to hear of this guys life this morning? Is it going to be enough for me? Am I going to be ok with where this goes? I cry out, HELP me not to make this about me and my personal gain! Help me to make it all about you. It is all about you and your glory.

A couple years ago, as we were beginning this journey back home, I memorized the verse -Psalm 40: 1-3. At the end of verse three it says, ' many will see and fear and put there trust in the Lord.' I was eager to see who those many were. And how I would get to play a part in that.

I just need to trust.

TRUST. (sigh) TRUST.

Not walk away in fear that it wont go the way I want it to go.

Walk forward in faith and courage and in Spirit.....and then watch what the Lord does.

And my loving Saviour reminds me what its all about.....its all about HIM.

Being put in a place that is requiring me to trust HIM so, has made me draw nearer to Him and want to get to know Him more. Why trust you?? Who are you, really??

I think yesterday on a walk how we only have a glimpse of who God is, but that glimpse is enough to want to bow down and worship.

I read in A.Voskamps blog this - We may not know the outcome but we tenaciously believe that in Him we overcome - because Love comes down.

What a privilege it is......I have to go get ready for a breakfast now:)