Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Rummaging


As I rummage through all my parents pictures, in hopes of consolidating, I'm enjoying revisiting my childhood memories.  I'm especially enjoying looking at my parents personal photos of their life before every having me and my brother.
When rummaging, I also came across about 6 index cards with writings from my dad, he tells a story about becoming a single parent.  I don't know why my dad wrote this, but I'm thankful I have this story articulated in his own little way.
What you'll see is regret, intentions, sweet times and hard times.  You'll also see death and a love for Jesus no matter the circumstances!
I love these two people.  I look forward to seeing them again, one day.




Being a Single Parent
"I became a single parent at 1:45 am on January 28, 1995 after being married for almost 26 years.  They were good years for my wife Betsy and I.  The Lord blessed us with 2 children, Ian and Allison, who will be 23 and 21 years old this year.
Betsy had been ill for 6 months before they diagnosed her with ovarian cancer.  They told us on January 2, 1994 and I will never forget Betsy's testimony to the doctor in telling him about her Jesus and how she was ready to die if that was His will for her.
From the day Betsy had her first surgery on January 22, 1994 till she died on that early morning in January 1995 there were dramatic changes in the life of our family.  I learned quickly that I had to play a much bigger role than I had been used too.  I also learned to be more attentive to Betsy's needs and to show more love than I had been used to giving.  I had taken my wife for granted for too long.
I had loved Betsy from just after we met in 1968 on a blind date, but now I realized  that I could possibly lose her in death.  I tried hard to make up for the years when I didn't convey to her my real feelings.
She noticed the extra attention she was receiving and used to comment on it.




Betsy went through chemotherapy for 8 months in 1994 and when the chemotherapy was finished she was worse off.  It was decided that there would be more surgery in October 1994.
The year 1994 had its good times.  Betsy and Allison used to talk a lot that summer and it was great to have the together.  In October, Betsy and I took a trip to Atlanta to the Stone Mnt. Highland Games.  We picked up Allison and Alf  and all went together.  We returned the kids to school in Birmingham, AL and Betsy and I headed for Mobile, AL and spent most of a day at Bellingrath Gardens, somewhere she always wanted us to go since we were married.





On October 24, 1994, the second surgery took place and she was so weak after surgery she never again ate solid food.  She could drink a broth and even a yogurt but that only lasted for awhile and then she stopped eating altogether.  Eventually they had to resort to feeding her intravenously   Betsy went through a very rough time which seemed to get worse every couple of weeks and January was very difficult even for those of us who watch her and help her until the Lord relieved her pain and gave her the peace that passes all understanding.
I will always remember the funeral service and the gospel message given before many unbelievers.  I have had many comments about the service and we will never know this side of heaven what affect it may have been on other lives."

2 comments:

-C said...

What a delight for you to find these pieces of journal. I have heard so much about your mom. It is absolutely a pleasure to read your dad's reflection here. *sigh

JT said...

I remember visiting your Mom in the hospital...feeling she encouraged me instead of the other way around. I know many others will say the same thing :)